I wish I were never exist. They do not want me as their son, this form is just not enough for them, this mind is not enough as well. I might be worst than other in this age. I look like unherated, want to go home earlier. No, I do not have a destination. I just need a peace where nobody can find me there.
I was born this way, even when I never ask them for approval whether or not to accept me to be like this. I am totally wounded, they hurt me. All I do is faults I never thought the reason why. It's better to stand alone, maybe oneday when the time has arrive I will go away.
Why do the do this to me ? is it because I look like not normal ??? God, I do not know what is exactly on my mind. They hurt me everytime for unclear reason and they compare me with others. I deserve to get better, kill me might solve everything. They will be no longer feeling shame. To have me is a disaster I think. They never want my presence.
I guess if they had a choice to choose which baby / soul is good to take as their son, I won't be choosen. From the first time they see me, I am worst , weak and different.
All I know is, I was not realized that I knew I had already born to the word, They say to be born needs process, the most important process is when you asked to live or not. I should say no. Because I just will become a load for them, useless and full with anger.
I cry, They keep being angry to me. I wanna be alone, then I will die here if not. As soon as possible I am gonna find my my to be what I should become.
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